Disappointment

السلام عليكم

I try to listen, 

but they don't

I try to understand, 

again, they don't

I try to review myself,

nothing is wrong

So, why do they act like that?

I'm trying hard to understand that kind of people. Those who said that they missed me and wanted to meet me, but after we had an appointment, they suddenly broke it. What do you mean, fellows?

Everytime the problem comes, I start reviewing myself. Is that something wrong with my attitude, perhaps with the words I've said? And I found it non sense. Nothing is wrong with me, the point is they don't really care about me. Oh wait, I mean I asked other people opinions too about it. Guess what? Their responses were same, about 'non sense'.

If there is a fellow said that she misses me (I don't know how much) and wants to meet me, I'll try to manage my schedule and meet her in person. But when she starts making excuses to cancel the appointment, darling, DO NOT EVER joke with my time! Yes, I'm this mean. 

I'm not someone who looks busy or whatever. Yes, I do working from Monday to Friday, and sometimes I work on Saturday. But I'm not as busy as you think, I just want to appreciate my time. Working from 08.00am-05.00pm almost everyday makes me lose my social life, the only social life I own is being with my partners at the office. This is why I appreciate my spare time.

I just don't like how people can be so unappreciative about other people time, my time. Overmore, it's about 'disappointment'. I mean.. there must be the feeling of happy because you know you're going to meet your best fellows, or maybe someone who ever gave a contribution to your life in the past. But you guys finally break my heart by cancelling the appointment, ignoring my call, pretending that you're asleep or whatever you think it's cool! 

You know, all relations (friendship, marriage, sisterhood, etc.) need attention, and attention takes sacrifice. And FYI, I usually sacrifice my time for anything I think valuable.

Then I start reviewing my past, did I ever do this to other people? Yes, I did. I've already known the answer, but if that's the only reason, it's unfair. I started improving my social relations since few years ago. What Islam / moslems say 'silaturahim' / 'silaturahmi' , I try to understand them and apply them to my life. If the disappointment comes to me once or twice, it's normal. But it comes often, along with the excuses the same people make, oh, don't text/ tweet me telling that you miss me. 

I don't hate you, I just hate the way you treat your fellow. Don't say you miss me or whatever that you actually feel only in a second, because I mean it. Because I'm learning how to treat other people well, wish you guys do the same.